Rondy Royal Rumble Wrap-Up: Draft Order Mayhem 2025

Eight Legends Enter, One Drunken Giant Emerges

Buckle up, managers. The sweat-soaked digital canvas of this year’s Royal Rumble was painted with chaos, bad decisions, and a whole lot of pixelated testosterone. From Hacksaw’s early exit to Andre’s beer-fueled triumph, the 2025 Rondy Royal Rumble Draft Decider did not disappoint.

Let’s break down the carnage, by way of draft order—aka, who got their teeth metaphorically kicked in first.

🪦 8th Pick: Hacksaw Jim Duggan (aka “Early Shower Jim”)

A hot start had us fooled—Hacksaw was throwing fists like a man with purpose. But then, in a bold display of athletic confusion, he voluntarily jumped onto the edge of the ring during a Ric Flair rope toss… only to get gently bopped off by a Nature Boy headbutt. That's not strategy, that’s a cry for help .

🧠 7th Pick: Ric Flair ("WOOOoooPS!")

Shortly after sending Hacksaw to the locker room, Flair hit a high-flying body slam on Piper. And then, in what can only be described as a midlife crisis, he eliminated himself. No joke. Climbed out of the ring and just stood there, watching the rest of the match like a disappointed dad at a high school talent show.

🧨 6th Pick: Ultimate Warrior (Ultimate Victim)

Locked in a one-man grudge match against Hulk Hogan, The Warrior spent his entire appearance getting outmuscled by the Hulkster. Eventually, one of those famous 24-inch pythons connected with his soul, and The Warrior went flying. Should’ve had a plan that wasn’t “run directly at Hulk Hogan repeatedly”.

🍿 5th Pick: Rowdy Roddy Piper (Rowdy? Yes. Wise? No.)

Piper came in swinging—literally. But when your target is Andre the Giant, and you're roughly the size of one of his thighs, you're not fighting… you're volunteering. Andre lifted him like a sack of potatoes and tossed him out like a hooker in a hotel room.

🧼 4th Pick: Hulk Hogan (Washed)

Big entrance. Big ego. Big exit. Just when Hulk was settling in, Macho Man snapped into him like a Slim Jim, tossed him over the top rope, and served up a farewell headbutt for good measure. Hollywood Hogan’s box office dreams end in a direct-to-DVD loss.

🎯 3rd Pick: Macho Man Randy Savage (Not Quite Madness)

Randy Savage had some early close calls, dangling off the ropes like a piñata at a Quinceañera. But somehow, he held on—until Andre and The Undertaker teamed up like a grim death metal tag team and took him out. Nothing macho about being double-teamed by legends.

⚰️ 2nd Pick: The Undertaker (Dead But Draft-Rich)

From nearly being the first out (shoutout Warrior), to making it to the final two, The Undertaker played a sneaky-good game. But against Andre the Giant, even the Lord of Darkness has his limits. Andre whispered, “Not today, Satan,” and sent The Phenom straight to fantasy purgatory— albeit in a well-deserved 2nd place.

🏆 1st Pick: Andre the Giant (Beer. Brawn. Brilliance.)

Was there ever any doubt? The Eight Wonder of the World came in like a juggernaut and steamrolled his way through the competition. No flash. No flips. Just brute force and legendary momentum. After claiming victory, Andre celebrated like only he could: 60 Miller Lites and a trail of broken hearts.

🎯 Final Draft Order:

1. Andre the Giant (Adam)

2. The Undertaker (Rob)

3. Macho Man (Chad)

4. Hulk Hogan (Andy)

5. Rowdy Roddy Piper (Jason)

6. Ultimate Warrior (Chris)

7. Ric Flair (Matt)

8. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (DJ)

   
   
   
   

2026 DRAFT ORDER DECIDER STARTS NOW

🎲 New for 2026: Bet Big, Pick Your Spot 💰

Tired of randomness? Sick of CPU-controlled wrestlers deciding your draft fate? Well… tough. That was awesome. BUT next  year we’re trying something new—and it involves you, your questionable football takes, and a fake bankroll.

🎯 Introducing: The 2026 Draft Order Decider

We’re running a season-long betting pool using the WagerLab app.

🧠 How it works:

• You’ll start with $100 in virtual betting bucks

• You can place bets on NFL games each week (spreads, moneylines, etc.)

• Betting runs through Week 18

• You can bet big. You can bet dumb. You can go broke by Halloween. Your call.

At the end of the regular season, we’ll rank everyone from richest to poorest (in fake dollars). BUT—and here’s the twist—the results won’t directly determine the draft order.

The final standings will determine the order in which you get to choose your draft position for 2026.

• Finish 1st in the pool? You get first dibs—pick any spot you want.

• Finish 8th? You get whatever’s left. Sorry, gambling is hard.

  
  

So whether you want that hot #1 pick or you’re a “give me the turn at 7/8” psycho, you better start brushing up on your Sunday lines.

📲 Link to join the WagerLab pool:  https://link.wagerlab.app/RqBNnkJFeWb

🕒 Starts Week 1

💸 Trash talk strongly encouraged. Financial advice not accepted.

If you are struggling with gambling, or know someone who is, please contact the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-GAMBLER