Week 5 Recap
- rondyfantasyfootba
- 4 hours ago
- 5 min read
🏆 Rondy Royal Rumble – Week 5 Recap
"Just when you think you’ve got the answers, I change the questions!"
🤼♂️ Any Given Sundae vs. Man DIESEL
A Monday Night miracle. Chad gets bounced like a check.
This was a slugfest from start to finish — the fantasy equivalent of two dudes throwing haymakers with spaghetti arms. Just 5 points separated them when the final bell rang.
Chad’s warhorse Josh Allen showed up again, racking up 21 points while Derrick Henry continued his campaign to become the highest-paid decoy in fantasy history — another single-digit dud. Chad’s bench, meanwhile, threw a tantrum. Baker Mayfield and Javonte Williams each casually posted 20+ while sipping Gatorade. At some point, Chad's going to have to face the terrifying reality that name recognition doesn’t equal production. Cut the dead weight or be buried with it.
On the other side, Jonathan Taylor continues to be the heartbeat of Adam's team, hitting 30 for the third time this season. Ja’Marr Chase, meanwhile, has been fantasy’s poster child for disappointment all year. But this week, he finally showed up with a monster 30-point performance. Was it a turning point? An anomaly? Hard to say. And now with Joe Flacco slinging the rock, God only knows what comes next.
The real drama? Monday Night. Adam needed BTJ to score 8 points. He dropped 12 — hilariously, a season high. Twelve points shouldn’t feel like a parade, but for Adam it was a walk-off.
Adam clings to 4th. Chad tumbles from tied for 1st to 2nd, dazed and confused.
🪓 The BIG Show vs. Tua-Tang Clan
Matt finally wins. Yes, really. We triple-checked.
For the first time this season, Matt didn't just show up — he executed a complete and coherent fantasy football strategy. It worked. Christian McCaffrey dropped a vintage 28, and Daniel Jones — yes, that Daniel Jones — is quietly making a case for comeback player of the year. He added 19 solid points and didn’t turn into a meme in the process.
With Tyreek Hill out for the season, Jaylen Waddle stepped into the WR1 spotlight in Miami. He’s not Tyreek, but he’s at least cosplaying as a WR1 right now, and it paid off for Matt. Add in a steady day from Amon-Ra St. Brown, and suddenly this 0–4 team remembered how to fantasy.
Chris didn’t go quietly. His new strategy? Lean all the way in on the youth movement. JSN and Egbuka, two young studs with upside through the roof, combined for 58 points and gave him a strong foundation. On Sunday night, it looked like it might be enough. With Drake Maye, James Cook, and Khalil Shakir still to play, Chris had the edge.
And then... they played. Sort of. Together, they produced almost nothing of value. Fumbles, bad routes, bubble screens that went backward — the whole circus. Chris topped out at 134.
Matt had 137 — with Butker still to play on Monday. Perhaps a missed opportunity, not to invoke the strategic exemption of the Farley Rule by benching his kicker to lock in the win. But Matt only fails to field a complete lineup by mistake, not on purpose. He let Butker kick. Butker added 4, and Matt’s season finally started breathing.
Matt moves to a majestic 1–4. Still in last. But technically not dead.Chris drops to 3–2 and into 3rd place, trusting in youth and praying they grow up fast.
🚧 nWo4LIFE vs Tua 3, 4 Concussions
Andy: Thanos. DJ: Snap victim.
This match was over before it even began. Andy entered at 3–1, top of the league. DJ was… not. He’s been lounging in the bottom 2 like it’s a vacation resort with free continental breakfast.
To his credit, DJ came out swinging. Dak Prescott continued his rock-solid season with 30 points, and Stefon Diggs channeled his Bills revenge arc for 24. Respectable scores, decent output — but when you’re up against the league’s most cunning waiver wire sorcerer, that’s just not enough.
Andy shrugged off Lamar Jackson’s injury and picked up Justin Fields, who casually tossed 26 into the mix. Then, like a man possessed, he struck gold again — grabbing Rico Dowdle from the depths of the waiver wire. The result? 32 points from a player most of the league barely noticed was available. Andy’s not just winning games — he’s stealing value from the ether.
Andy now sits alone in 1st place at 4–1. DJ remains second to last — physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
🦾 X Gon’ Gibbs It To Ya vs. Team Cady
Mahomes does Mahomes things. Rob stares into the void.
Things kicked off on Thursday night with both teams drawing early blood: Rob’s Kyren Williams exploded for 31, and Jason’s Puka Nacua answered with 24. A hot start, but neither side blinked — it was shaping up to be a back-and-forth slugfest.
But while Rob had some other contributors in the teens, no one else truly stepped up to carry the load. The rest of his lineup delivered a chorus of “just fine”, when what he needed was at least one more showstopper. Kyren did his job. The rest of the squad stayed comfortably in second gear.
Jason wasn’t dominant, but he was balanced. Mark Andrews ghosted with a sad little 4-point outing, but the rest of the lineup chipped in enough to keep things moving. Nothing flashy. No fireworks. Just a team that showed up, clocked in, and did their jobs.
Then came the betrayal: Defenses. Rob’s Seahawks D went full liability, hemorrhaging 5 points. Jason’s Ravens D chipped in their own brand of sabotage with -4. It was like watching two dudes in a footrace stop to tie each other’s shoes together.
By Sunday night, Rob led by 7. Both sides had two players left. Jason had a kicker... and Patrick Mahomes. Ballgame. The Chiefs might be struggling to win games in the real world, but in fantasy, Mahomes still prints money. He dropped a casual 30. Rob’s Xavier Worthy and Hunter Henry couldn’t keep up, and just like that, it was over.
Jason takes it. Climbs from 7th to 5th. Rob falls to 6th, still praying someone besides Kyren clocks in next week.
💸 Bonus Round
💯 Weekly High Score Andy posts a monstrous 178.15 — the highest score of the season so far. It was hot, it was sexy, and it was possibly illegal in six states. He takes home this week’s $10 payout with ease.
🧼 Biggest Blowout No blowouts this week — every matchup stayed relatively tight. Adam still holds the season lead with his Week 3 annihilation of DJ. No change at the top.
🏃 A Win’s a Win Jason came close to claiming the crown this week, but Mahomes carried him past the cutoff. DJ still leads with his Week 2 meager victory over Matt. That stinker remains unbeaten.
☠️ Survivor Pool Watch The tension is real. Andy’s safe. Everyone else? Not so much. Only 20 points separate Adam, Chris, Jason, Chad, and Matt. It’s a five-man Russian roulette, and someone’s going to catch a bullet.
Pray for whoever leaves points on their bench next week. Or don’t.
📉 Final Thoughts
The standings are hardening like cold pizza.
Winning records? You’re in the playoff picture.
Losing records? You’re stuck outside the club, watching through the window.
Week 6 brings byes, bad decisions, and whatever injury fate has queued up next.
Set your lineups. Burn your projections.
And maybe — just maybe — start the guy who’s scoring points instead of the guy with a cool name.
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