Week 13 Recap

It’s crunch time, and chaos is in the air. With only two teams officially clinched for the playoffs, Week 13 didn’t disappoint. There were heartbreaks, long shots, and plenty of smackdowns. Let’s break it all down.

Bonus Summaries

Weekly High Score Bonus:

Who would’ve guessed? The league’s bottom dwellers decided to come alive this week. Jason dropped a stunning 163.5 points, only to have DJ slide in on Monday night with the Denver Defense and snatch the bonus by a microscopic 0.15 points.

Biggest Blowout Bonus:

Still held by Josh’s Week 6 beatdown (+97.65). No one’s come close.

A Win’s a Win Bonus:

Matt nearly stole this one with a 124-point curb stomp over Andy, but Rob’s Week 10 fluky win margin still holds strong.

Survivor Pool:

We’re down to two: Chris and Josh. Chris built a solid 29-point lead heading into the final stretch, so unless Josh pulls out some fantasy wizardry, this one looks sewn up.

 Matchup Recaps

Puttin’ on the Ritz (Adam) vs The BIG Show (CHRIS)

The league’s top dogs faced off in a matchup so close it could’ve been decided by a coin flip. It came down to Sunday night, Bills vs. 49ers, with Chris needing just a bit more from Josh Allen. Unfortunately, Josh Allen’s success on the field turned out to be a curse for The BIG Show. Just when Chris was within striking distance, the Bills benched their MVP, leaving Chris a heartbreaking point short. Adam locks up his spot in the playoffs.

THE Gimpledaumus (JOSH) vs Trash Panda (JASON)

Jason finally decided to play fantasy football this season, putting up a monster 70 points in the early games and then letting Jerry Jeudy seal the deal with a jaw-dropping 40 on Monday night. The win keeps Jason’s playoff dreams alive—but just barely. He now faces a ludicrous playoff scenario, summed up below:

Andy and Matt must lose their final two games. Josh and DJ also need to lose at least once, but DJ plays Josh in Week 14 and Andy in Week 15. If we assume DJ beats Andy (because Andy has to lose) and Josh beats DJ (to limit DJ’s wins), Jason would need to win out. This scenario would leave five teams tied at 6-9, and Jason would need to overcome a massive 150-point deficit, at the very least,  in the Points For tiebreaker to secure the final playoff spot. Tall order? That’s putting it mildly.

Meanwhile, Josh continues his one-step-forward, one-step-back routine, slipping to 6th. The good news? He’s got the best Points For of the bubble teams, so he just needs to keep pace.

Tua 3, 4 Concussions (ANDY) vs Tua-Tang Clan (MATT)

The McCaffrey Maligned Matchup Mishap

This matchup was a case study in momentum. Matt kept his improbable comeback alive, jumping to 5th and staying within a hair of the playoff picture. With Andy slipping (three straight losses!), Matt’s Cinderella run is one glass slipper away from reality.

Andy, once the king of the final playoff spot, has let everyone else crash the party. He’s now in a dogfight for his life and staring down a brutal matchup against Rob next week. A win would put him back in control, but right now, he’s feeling about as sturdy as McCaffrey’s Posterior Cruciate Ligament.

Team Cady (ROB) vs nWo4LIFE (DJ)

DJ put up a strong Thanksgiving performance, banking 70+ points, seemingly making him the favorite. The Brock Bowers showed up, launching Rob back into this matchup. But DJ remained a 72% favorite going into Monday night. The Nix & Sutton connection needed to click to give Team Cady a chance, while DJ put his faith in the Denver Defense, or rather in Jameis Winstons ability to throw interceptions.

DJ’s faith was rewarded as the Denver Defense scored two touchdowns, keeping his remarkable playoff contention comeback on track, and banking a lot of precious points. Rob will have to wait another week to officially get waived into the playoff bracket. The only way he doesn’t make the playoffs is by losing two straight, while Andy and Matt win out and also make up about 100 (Andy) and 200 (Matt) Points in the process. Rob is all but guaranteed.

Final Thoughts

With two weeks to go, the playoff picture is a masterpiece of chaos. Jason’s playoff hopes are hanging on by a dental floss-thin thread, Rob’s practically RSVP’d, and the rest are fighting tooth and nail for that last seat at the table.

• Momentum pick: Matt or DJ—surging like Paul Walker with his finger on the N2O button.

• Favorite by standings: Andy, but his grip on 4th is as steady as a toddler carrying a full glass of milk.

• Dark horse: Josh— He’s two spots off, but he has the highest Points For. One win would launch him into 4th place.

• The Lottery Ticket: Jason – Still mathematically alive, but his playoff chances are teetering on the edge of “a Christmas Miracle” territory.